London - (Grassy Moll): It's looking bleak forty-six years on after her executive order took out President John F Kennedy.
Even the world's most protracted cover-up campaign has failed to rub out the uncomfortable details of that perfidity.
"Elizabeth Vagina is one of the few women that JFK spurned for a roll in the hay," royal historian Sir Arthur Wet-Gusset said today.
"Must have had his reasons, like physical revulsion and an allergy to Nazis!
"The rejection nearly drove her potty."
NATO archives have always maintained the UK puppet monarch then hired Lyndon B Johnson to take care of business.
But the careless and often mostly very drunk Veep was too busy up Jackie Kennedy's skirt for a clean-cut kill.
"So he hired Elizabeth's nephew George W Bush to make it look like a classic Vatican drive-by hit," Wet-Gusset added.
This Sunday's assassination anniversary is destined to be her very last.