Chitcago, IL-- Conservative Sarah Palin scored a victory over the mainstream media today in a stunning coup. Ms. Palin will now host 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' five days a week. Oprah will still be part of the show. She will be part of the cleaning crew.
Sarah Palin is very excited about the opportunity and plans to have many special guests on her programs. Sarah will have Constitutional scholars, patriots and anti-Fascists. Hollywood weirdos, sexual psychopaths and moonbats will never be allowed past the front door to the studio.
Oprah Winfrey burst into tears after learning she was fired. She is lucky to still have any job at all. Oprah's new job is to clean the toilets of the studio. If she's very good, and shows proper respect, she may be able to run errands for Sarah. She may be able to fetch her a cup of coffee or even clean Sarah's shows.
Unfortunately, the show will still be filmed in Chitcago. America's worst city will host the show only until Sarah Palin wins the White House in 2012. The revolting city will be burned down to the ground after President Palin takes office in 2013.