Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Kentucky, bible belt

Thursday, 19 November 2009

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DTS's Bible Thumping Hand After Expert Medical Treatment.

Local preacher and tub thumping evangelist, Deano Twogood Sonofapreacherman, was this evening recovering in his room at the Flashlight Motel in Snakebite, Kentucky, after getting a little carried away raising donations at 'The Church Of The Sacred Waterspout' in the 'Tuggit And Take A Load Off Trailer Park' here.

DTS was rushed to the ER in agony after thumping the Good Book so hard that he damaged a metatarsal.

Doctor Helmut Van Nurseburglar, STD, Resident Surgeon told us:

"It was touch and go for a little while back there. He kept on a touchin' and we kept on a goin' - but ventually we come back and reeparred the damage. While the sumbitch was a sleepin'

"We managed to stabilise his condition, what with its symptoms is ver similar in nayture to Jackhov's Tunnel Syndrome, a weakness of the wrist brought about by excessive self abuse. Ayund we wuz able to discharge him. But he wuz real lucky. That son of a gun coulda done'd hisself some permanent daymage. As he wuz recov'rin from the anaestheyetic, the son of a gun tried to put his hayund up Nurse Ida Licktett's skirt and darned near sparked a controversy. We knew at thayut point we done a good job. So we disccharged the sumbitch and sayent him home."

The Right Reverend Deano Twogood Sonofapreacherman is recovering at home at The Flashlight Motel with a couple of bottles of Chivas Regal and has been advised to avoid beer and wine for the foreseeable future.

In order to avoid complications, such as lawsuits and arrest warrants, restraining orders, and fraud charges (which include vote-rigging on a Mugabe scale) Deano Twogood Sonofapreacherman is currently maintaining a low profile.

Aside from Jerry Sprunger show staffers who bombard his upmarket motel room with invitations to appear on 'Sprunger' each and every day.

Thus far with no response.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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