No money, no jobs, and now NO JUSTICE for the radioactive stalker Banana Boy who President Obama just yesterday said was guaranteed to get the death penalty when tried personally in a Court of Law in New York city by Attorney General Eric Holder.
Holder, who claims on his Face book account that he did indeed smoke a few joints with Barry while at Harvard together, was put totally off his game in NY Federal Court when he was forced to admit that 'Banana Boy" AKA Colonel Juan, was not read is Fruit of the Loom rights when taken into custody as he crossed the border into Bankok, Thailand pursued by a tribe of Monkeys.
Holder was also forced to admit that Banana Boy was subjected to intense interrogation techniques including the peeling back of his foreskin to see if he was trying to smuggle in any Black Widow Spiders in his stalk.
The case was further compromised when it was discovered that Col. Juan was a paid, non registered alien lobbyist working for both Del Monte Foods, and its patron saint in congress, Madam Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Pelosi said through a spokesman, that further prosecution of the case would tend to incriminate her due to her role in securing no increase in the minimum wage for Star Kist Tuna in American Samoa, as well as several multi-million dollar tax breaks for the company owned by Del Monte, just days before a deal was announced to sell the tuna fish company to a South Korean company.
Pelosi said she received no special political donations for her actions, but convicted Clinton Chinese Donation Bundler Hu Nu, said that was not the case, but wouldn't talk anymore until he was released from prison, or at least pardoned by the next Republican President in exchange for his testimony.
The current whereabouts of 'Banana Boy', AKA Colonel Juan, are unknown despite an INTERPOL alert, but a disgruntled Inspector Morse who made the initial arrest while the Colonel was Text Messaging on a Public Shitter, said,
"the wanker is probably in France by now....they'll probably give him a medal for breaking the cherries of them Hannah girls....then he'll go to Italy, and become a high priced pimp for the Prime Minister....BASTARD!"