A new grassroots campaign to keep President Barrack Obama from further embarrassing the United States is off to a roaring start now that the president is back on American soil.
Crew members promptly flattened the tires of Air Force One, preventing the president from traveling any time soon. Cabinet members and administration officials have hidden the president's agenda and someone "inadvertently" stepped on the president's Blackberry after "accidentally" forcing him to drop it on the tarmac at Andrews Air Force Base.
At the White House, the "Red Phone" hotline has been re-routed to the Butterball Turkey Hotline, and the teleprompter has been replaced by a child's easel.
The "Keep Obama at Home" campaign is being funded by a bi-partisan congressional committee, under the auspices of The United States Supreme Court.