Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Friday, 13 November 2009

(Chicago-IL) Sarah Palin pulled no punches according to sources that were able to view "The Oprah Winfrey Show" interview taped Wednesday. In it, Palin denies Levi Johnston's claim that she wanted to prioritize an audio release of her memoir, "Going Rogue: An American Life", because there are "plenty of illiterate Americans with good Christian values."

The episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" is scheduled to air Monday, November 16th, a day before Palin's memoir hits the shelves and two days before Palin embarks on a book tour in a bus with her family. The former Republican Vice Presidential candidate mentioned the tour in her Facebook blog prior to her appearance. "We're taking it to the streets, you betcha, me and the family. We're like "The Brady Bunch" when they went to the Grand Canyon, except we're going to more places, and we don't have a gay dad." Palin later retracted the statement, admitting that she had mistaken "The Partridge Family" for "The Brady Bunch", "and I apologize to fans of both."

One person Sarah Palin is not apologizing to is the former boyfriend of her daughter, Bristol, Levi Johnston. He recently claimed that Palin referred to her son Trig, who has Down Syndrome, as "retarded". This week while promoting his "Playgirl" shoot, Johnston said that his ex future mother-in-law made it a point to make certain that there would be an audio version of her memoir out the same day as the hard cover version. Johnston maintains Palin wanted this because "there are plenty of illiterate intellectuals who have solid Christian values. We shouldn't exclude them."

On her Facebook blog, Palin denounced the notion. "To say that I would call people who can't read "illiterate" is ridiculous! And to go on to say that's why I want my book released in an audio version that is equally, really absurd. Yes, I wanted my memoir released in audio. Why? Have you ever heard of blind people? Should they be denied the right to hear my side of the story?"

After posting the blog, reaction was quick from sight challenged groups, claming Palin's sentiment was condescending at best and prejudiced at worst.

Palin spokesperson, Meg Stapelton, released the statement, "Sarah did not mean to offend the sight challenged. One of Sarah's favorite sight challenged people was Saul, a Jew, who was blind and then saw the path to Christianity and became Paul." Stapelton then added, "Look, I just read this stuff. Don't blame me. There's a recession out there. I need this job."

Ed's Note: Be the first kid on your block to get the Sarah Palin coloring book, "Going Rouge: The Sarah Palin Rogue Coloring & Activity Book".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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