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Wednesday, 18 August 2004

image for Michael Jackson Court Ruling
Water coulors from the nursery......

Lawyers for superstar Michael Jackson have been foiled in their attempts to have evidence seized at the singer's ranch thrown out. Judge Rodney Melville said police had had probable cause when they swooped on Neverland. He was singularly impressed with Captain Harry Blount who told the judge : "I was positive that we had probable cause and here's a picture of me saying that".

The evidence will now be on display outside the court in Santa Maria, California. The public are advised that while they may look, they may not touch any item. None of the items on show are for sale...unless the police are made an "unthinkable offer".

We found Jackson in the Nursery at the back of the court. He was furious that other children were allowed to cut and paste but he was not. The care worker said she did not want to let him play with scissors especialy as he kept hiding under his umbrella.

We asked Michael whether he was angry at the judge's decision......that which the man in the black robe had said....the noises coming from the man sitting on the high chair...we asked Michael whether he believed the Pokemons would be back and he confirmed that he did.

Michael's plastic surgeon who was lending support confirmed that the singer had had many face lifts. "On the last occasion he landed up with a beard and a tie until we moved everything back down." The doctor denied that Michael had developed oval blotches on his stomach. He said that these were normal toenails no different from anyone else.

We asked Captain Blount if any of the items seized would be of use in the case. "We'll I don't rightly know. I guess the umbrellas, make-up and white suits may indicate strange behaviour but no more than that".

Had Jackson said anything to the Captain? "Nothing exciting just that he was annoyed that Kobe Bryant's trial is getting all the publicity and the gagging orders while he can't even do &^%#*&^% cut and paste down here!!"

We went back to see how Michael was doing. He had moved onto the blocks and had built a really neat toy hairdryer out of Lego pieces. Even the care worker seemed pleased. Apparently Elizabeth Taylor had phoned to tell her that Michael was a whizz with blocks and to let him have a set.

Come the trial and all the media hype, bigger than Kobe and OJ combined, we can all rest assured that the great one will be prepared to do battle with the blocks on courtside. But like the airlines don't bring your scissors to court, they will be confiscated before Michael sees them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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