WASHINGTON DC - According to my source, Heinze Kissinger, the Obama administration is set to announce a new solution to the dearth of jobs in America.
Due to the shortage of jobs here, all jobs will no longer pay any money. Instead, all workers will pay the government for the privilege of working. The money, along with trillions more dollars to be printed by the government, will be used to pay each American an allowance, based on his or her needs.
All Americans will be treated with free health insurance, with the exception of those who are working. They will have to pay extra for this.
It is expected that the quality of work will improve tremendously since all work will be performed by people who love their jobs so much, they will actually pay to perform them.
This is expected to create a vast increase in the standard of living. The most important jobs will be printing the new $1000.00 bills with Obama's picture on them.