Written by Maximus
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Sunday, 15 August 2004

image for Four Years of Legislation Down the Drain, Bush to Blame
Whoopsadaisy, huked on foniks wurkt fer me!

Washington D.C. (AP)- Guess who made another presidential boo boo? That's right, George W. Bush made a mess again, and this one won't be fixed by merely changing into unsoiled trousers. Bush has managed to void four years of legislation. How? Why?

Last week in an insignificant court case, Celebrity V. United States, a trial lawyer discovered a major loophole in legislation passed under Bush. He went on to find that the loophole exists in every bit of legislation passed under Bush, the loophole being that Bush has been misspelling his name for the entire length of his term as president. The court decided that they could not recognize law passed by "Jorge Bush".

Bush has created a new Federal advisor cabinet position, officially called Misspellings Prevention Advisor, to aid the president in his grammatical endeavors. The position was filled by Oxford professor and well-know literary god, Kyue Thrisevenziks, who merely wants to see something get done in Washington.

The Public is displaying mixed feelings. Some people are unaware of pretty much every news event, while others are buying survival supplies, fearing each day that Bush will "lead" our country.

Said Bush of his spelling error, "It's understandable you know because it's a name. Name's aren't in the dictionary so I can't study them."

After being informed of the fact that his name is in fact in the dictionary (and also that he does not study the dictionary), Bush cleverly rebutted with, "don't have a cow, man", and "fire up the chopper and let's make like a tree and get the heck outta here."

Later statements issued from the white house try to blame the misspellings on terrorism, but the written statements were discredited when it was discovered that they were signed by a "Jorge Bush".

The president may seek aditional aid in a supplemental spelling training program run by the military. This rigorous training is rumored by this writer to involve electric-shock punishment and humiliation. Bush is expected to flunk, again.

In an attempt to prevent future goof-ups, Congres has voted to replace the famous presidential signing pen with a large rubber stamp. They have also voted to raise Congressional salaries.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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