DANBURY, Connecticut--In a stunning move being hailed as a "call to action" by the controversial Nobel Prize committee, Brian Sayler, who received pickles on his Big Mac despite his request that it have no pickles, ate the sandwich anyway on his way to work, in a move for which he was recognized on Friday with the Nobel Peace Prize.
"He did not have to eat that burger," said Committee spokesman Daniel Hoff. "In fact, if he returned it he probably could have gotten some free fries." Hoff also rejected criticism from media watchgroups who have publicly attacked the legitimicacy of the award. "Pickles are sick," he noted while shaking his head. "I would have brought it back."
Sayler's acceptance speech, which reflected the prize recipient's poor grasp on the depth of the award, attempted to haggle with the Committee for prizes upon his ingestion of other "gross stuff". Among these suggestions was the classic, "Hey, if I eat a carrot, can I have the moon?"
Not to be outdone, President Obama was spotted immediately afterward speaking very softly into a McDonald's drive-thru menu board.