Atlantic City, NJ-- A mermaid washed in with the tide yesterday on a deserted beach in this filthy, disgusting city by the sea. From far away, the mermaid had the classic look of myths and legends. She had golden hair, an emerald green fish tail instead of legs and she was topless.
Dozens of curious onlookers, mostly men, ran down to the surf to catch a closer look of the half-naked creature from the sea. They all turned away with disappointment after a second look.
The little mermaid had blonde hair, but it was obviously a bad dye-job from some cheap hair salon. Dark roots were easily visible. The mermaid had crossed eyes and wore nerdy-looking glasses. She seemed to have a beak instead of a nose, and snots ran out of her flared nostrils. Her lopsided mouth sported buckteeth, and many of the teeth were missing.
The little mermaid's body was also a disgrace. Her little breasts were the size of plums, and they were hairy. Rolls of blubber flowed underneath her tiny tits. She smelled very bad too, just like rotten fish.
All the men on the beach turned away from the ugly little mermaid after only a quick glance and kept walking down the beach. Finally, some nasty kids started throwing sea shells at her. Eventually the ugly little mermaid slipped back into the grey surf and swam away from this ugly city.