Clayton, Missouri - The latest National Car Rental commercials have most people in America asking, "Who's the old dorky guy?" In a move that baffles industry experts, the car rental company has chose to hire a "compensated endorser" who is as much a has been as a former Star Trek captain from the Age of Aquarius is.
John McEnroe was a tennis star, getting his start in the days when we were still wrapping up in Vietnam, and cell phones didn't exist for anyone besides Maxwell Smart. His career ended a decade or so before America would legalize torture and suspend Habeas Corpus.
Yet this relic of a bygone era, fully as relevant to teens, young adults and the middle aged as a 1968 golf champion, is being strutted about the TV as if he matters.
"Well, it's like this", reported Chuck Daley of National, "We have a limited budget, and Scott Baio was busy doing more public service posters for Selective Service. Who else could we turn to?"
We caught up with McEnroe and asked if he wasn't a bit embarassed to be paraded about in the same manner that Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers is. Glaring angrily, he would only say, "You cannot be serious!", before storming off.