Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Food, Police

Wednesday, 11 August 2004

image for Bad Kitty Arrested for Impersonating Dog
The Bad Kitty Surrenders Without A Fight

A very bad kitty was arrested Friday after police received reports of a cat, in a disguise, trying to buy dog food. Tom, the cat was picked out of a line-up by a store clerk after police searched the kitty's home and found a well-designed "doggie disguise kit" stashed in his litter box.

"That cat will do anything to get dog food," his people said. "We have taken all the precautions we can think of to keep Tom, (the cat) out of Muffy's, (the dog) food. But, this extreme behavior was completely unforeseen, and there was nothing we could do to prepare for it."

Charges range from wearing fur without a license, to impersonating a canine to obtain property. Apparently evidence at the scene may also implicate Muffy, the dog in the crime.

"We have a hard time believing that Tom created this disguise all on his own. The coat was made solely of Muffy's fur. There must have been some kind of cooperation between Tom and Muffy to have accomplished this," detectives said. (He also said that the dog had this cowering "naughty doggy" look on his face the whole time they were interviewing the cat.)

Police said that Tom was so convincing, that the store clerk nearly sold him the food. "It wasn't until a woman calling her cat, walked in front of the store that the clerk became suspicious. "When she said, "here kitty, kitty, here kitty, kitty, he turned immediately."

"I think we got this bad kitty just in time. I'm sure he would have gone on to bigger, more serious crimes. I can just see him down the road, trying to get a job as a police dog in our canine unit. If he was successful, it might be more than just a little embarrassing for law enforcement."

The bad kitty's people believe a little jail time might do the naughty pussy some good. "It's clear that he needs help. He is still young enough to change his ways before it's too late.

Tom had a few things he wanted to say about his arrest. "I was framed. No one bothered to check under that mutt, Muffy's nail's to see if he had been messing around in my litter box that day. Muffy is getting away with murder. I hate that damn dog!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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