Written by Hydrogen Balloon
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Cats, FBI

Sunday, 25 October 2009

image for Calico Cat Charged With Brutal Serial Murders
Ginger Looks For New Victims

Philadelphia PA - A local cat has been nabbed and charged with the serial murder of at least 20 victims. Ginger The Cat, aged 10, was arrested after a year-long investigation between the FBI and Philadelphia police. She is believed to be the first animal ever charged with murder.

Joint task-force FBI agent Dana Scully-Skinner headed the investigation and gave many new details about the puzzling, and very bloody slayings.

"Victims were both adult men and women in the South Philadelphia area." said the agent. "Ginger liked sitting in the window of her house and choosing her victims as they walked by. Then, she would go out at night and hunt them down. She would slip through an open window, or simply meow at the front door." said Agent Scully-Skinner.

"Once she got inside the victims homes, she went completely berserk." added the agent. Police reports indicate the victims throats were ripped out. "She liked going right for the jugular vein." said the agent. "She liked blood, lots of it. We found blood mixed with cream in her saucer."

Police were puzzled by the lack of crime scene data at the murders. Only black, white and tan cat hair was found. It took the FBI almost a year to understand they were dealing with a severely psychotic cat.

"Why she did what she did, I just don't know." said Agent Scully-Skinner. "I guess she just didn't like people very much. Some cats are like that." she said glumly.

Although, she has been caught, Ginger The Cat will never be charged with any crimes.

"She's a cat, we can't put her on trial." said the agent. "We can only warn people not to let calico cats inside their homes and hope she doesn't bother anyone else."

Make Hydrogen Balloon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

6 18 24 4

Go to top