Written by nigmuncher
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Topics: TV, Swearing

Friday, 23 October 2009

image for Ann Widdecombe condemns foul language on telly
'I blame the parents'. says geriatric.

Foul language is being used so frequently in everyday speech, that a third of us will hear a swear word every five minutes, claims childless, Roman Catholic spinster of this parish and sometime novelist The Rt. Hon. Ann Widdecombe.

Ms Widdecombe states that it is almost impossible to get through an evenings television without being subjected to at least one instance of strong language. For 'strong' read f**k or s**t.

In this reporter's experience, it is hardly possible to get through five minutes without hearing some smart arse effing and jeffing, let alone a full evening, for f**ks sake.

Former Conservative MP for Maidstone and the Weald, Widdecombe goes on to champion the feelings of the majority of over 70s who feel that 'It wouldn't have happened in my day'. and 'I blame the parents'. or 'I blame the teachers'. perhaps. 'I blame the bin men' certainly. 'I blame the government'.

She was twice invited to be guest host on the news quiz Have I Got News for You . After hosting the programme for the second time Ms Widdecombe vowed she would never appear again due to comments made by panellist Jimmy Carr. She wrote at the time, "His idea of wit is a barrage of filth and the sort of humour most men grow out of in their teens.…"
We have to assume that she was a bit f****d off.

It takes two minutes to read this article, in which time strong language has been inferred four times. That equates to ten times over a five minute period. If we assume that strong language appears as frequently in newsprint as it does in television, that makes the above figures a nonsense. We therefore refute Ms Widdecombe's claims.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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