Written by Alexandria177
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Topics: Cats, Old Woman

Friday, 23 October 2009

image for Oldest cat in America dies, shocking discovery made
This is Alyssa, a pure bred Caucasian short hair. She's affectionate and litter trained.

Midlothian, Texas - Caterack the Cat, believed to have been one of the oldest cats on Earth, died yesteday at an age of in cat years, 210. Cats being cats, she is believed to have been survived by 12,773,523 descendants.

But a shocking discovery was made by those who discovered the death of this reclusive feline. Caterack, like many elderly cats, had kept pet old women. But not two or three, but literally dozens of them.

Neighbors had long suspected, but few complained, given the regard they held for the highly private kitty. "Caterack never had any of us over", said Tabby, her neighbor, "Probably didn't want us to know just how many old women she was keeping. But we suspected."

Health officials called to the scene with Human Control Services reported that the conditions were quite distressing. "There were far to many old women living here, and the food provided was inadequate.", said Agent Fluffy. "The water in the tub for them was stale. And their litter boxes were atrocious."

The 72 old women were rounded up and taken to a "no-kill" shelter in Dallas, pending the reading of Caterack's will. It is believed that the estate is to be left to these old women, many of them now feral, all with some health problems.

Regrettably, the descendants of Caterack are expected to contest that, so authorities are broadcasting a plea to any other cats out there who can accomodate two or three of these old women.

"They are good old women", said Agent Fluffy. "They've been fairly well kept all in all. They need good homes, and lots of love."

Cats interested can call 1-800-OLD-LADY.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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