NEW YORK, Aug. 9 (Xinhuanet) - "I hadn't been able to hold them separately since they were born" rejoiced Arlene Aguerre, mother of the newly separated conjoined twins. "Now I can decide which one is my favorite and which one will have to do the dishes".
The Filipino parents were worried that they'd have to love each child equally. Annoying television personality Dr. Phil had stated "it's obvious that parents have to select a favorite. Having your two sons conjoined can make that very difficult. By punishing your least favorite one you'll end up punishing the other more loveable child. This can cause a lot of distress, especially on new parents".
A spokesperson for the family held a press conference shortly after the separation mid Monday outside the famous Children's hospital in New York. "The parents have already begun to buy clothes from Baby GAP and Walmart. They were unsure which clothes would go to each child until they have designated ‘favorite' status to one of the boys" the spokesperson told reporters.
According to the spokesperson the parents have been preparing to adorn the new favorite child with lavish gifts while giving the second child seemingly equal but less entertaining gifts. While one child will receive a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll the other will receive a Tickle-Me-N-You'll-Die doll based on the children of the new show "Growing up Gotti". The favorite will also receive a collection of Spongebob Squarepants crib linen while the other will receive Spongebog Trianglepants décor. "We plan to encourage one of them to join the football team while forcing the other to take band. That way they'll both be present at football games and we can cheer for our football star and criticize the other child for his bad musicianship" said the parents.
Friends close to the family have said that Dylan, one of the twins, has the upper hand so far. "He held his daddy's hand while his brother Sal just sucked on his own finger. I think he'll be the favorite, the other looks kind of stupid. He might go to Stanford or something" said the insider.