A man is facing prosecution for being spotted naked in his own kitchen. Dwayne Scrotum of Houston, Texas, is facing charges of indecent exposure following complaints from a passing mother and her young daughter.
Scrotum said "Hey, man, my housemates were gone so I thought I'd pop down for a coffee. I can never find a damn spoon so I stir all my coffee with my penis. It's more hygienic than using a pen. And it saves on cream too. Anyway, there I am in my own kitchen stirring my coffee when I notice this woman and her daughter peering in through the window. I went fucking ape man! It's my kitchen. I can do what I want. If I want to lie on the breakfast bar with a banana up my ass then I will-usually on Tuesdays."
The unnamed woman and her daughter have brought a claim of indecent exposure against Mr Scrotum Legal experts belie that she will fail. Frank O'Corthouse said "If this ever goes to court the judge is gonna want to know one thing. As the kitchen is on the second floor how the fuck did they see in?"