Yesterday, a Detroit man broke free from the city jail. The sheriff's deputy had handcuffed the man, placed him in a glass encased tank full of water and securely locked all the doors, gates, bars, and buckles that make up the Detroit facility.
"This place is state of the art," says Rusty Smith, protectorate of the town's keep. "We even have our own hand-held waxer for the floors."
The man in question, Billy Andulini, alias 'The Great Andulini' requested admittance to the jail, and casing the place out, made a bet with some of the guards that he could loose his bonds in just under three minutes.
"We didn't think it could be done," said Raymond Squires, a watchmen at the jail. "Needless to say, I had to hotfoot it over to the pawn shop to sell off a watch, a few pairs of handcuffs, and my standard issue six shooter to make good on my end of the bargain."
Next Tuesday night, Andulini is going to perform the truly harrowing feat of taking 100 sequential punches to the gut while making the moon disappear.