Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Colorado, balloon

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for The State of Colorado Plans To Move The Balloon Family Up To Wyoming
A news helicopter flying the exact Rocky Mountain path that the Balloon family's hot air balloon took.

COLORADO SPRINGS - The Colorado Pike's Peaker is reporting that the Colorado State Department of Tourism is formulating plans to move the Balloon family aka, the Richie Heehaw family up to Wyoming.

Covington Drinkwater director of the CSDT stated that this hot air balloon hoax has generated some extremely bad publicity for the city of Fort Collins, as well as for the entire state of Colorado.

Drinkwater said that Colorado prides itself in having the bluest skies, the greenest grass, the reddest sun, and the yellowest mustard in the country.

He pointed out that the Colorado State Department of Tourism does not want people from the other 49 states or from the world's 194 countries to think that the Heehaw family represents a typical Colorado family.

Jonas Riffiano the mayor of Fort Collins said that he personally sent the Heehaw family an email telling them that the city of Fort Collins has agreed to purchase their house for the going rate and it will pay for a Juneflower Moving Van to load up all of their belongings and move them up to Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Mayor Riffiano said that he owns a rental house in Cheyenne that the Heehaws can live in rent free for six months.

Richie, aka "Balloon Papa" asked the mayor if he and the town council was just trying to get rid of them. The mayor replied absolutely not.

Mrs. Heehaw called up the mayor and she told him that back in her old country, when someone pays for someone to move to another city or state it means that they are not wanted.

Mayor Riffiano told Mrs. Heehaw to quit being so paranoid. He told her that this is America and people pay to have other people moved out of town or out of state all the time.

He told her that Joaquin Phoenix's neighbors have paid to move him twice within the past year. And Billy Bob Thornton has moved three times in two years thanks to the kind generosity of his neighbors.

Even Ann Coulter has stated on The Sean Hannity Show that her neighbor, 104-year-old Mildred Schillingsford, has been trying to get her to move for the past four years.

Coulter keeps telling her that she is not moving and she will just have to get used to her shooting her high-powered telescopic rifle at the clay pigeons, clay hummingbirds, and clay ostriches.

The Wyoming state legislature has apparently gotten word of Colorado's plan to move the Heehaw's to Wyoming.

The state of Wyoming senate has called an emergency session and word is that they will try to get a bill passed prohibiting the Heehaw family from entering the state of Wyoming.

In related news. Richie Heehaw has revealed that the producers of Dancing With The Stars have contacted him about possibly appearing as a dance contestant on next season's show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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