Bermuda - Recently the Red Cross went down to Bermuda to check on the status of the Gitmo Uighurs that President Obama sent down there for life. They felt it was important to make sure that no human rights abuses were occurring.
They discussed the situation with the detainees over almond flavored ice cream that they were enjoying after yet another day spent swimming, frolicking and seeing if there are any virgins in this island nation.
In fact, that was to be the only faint complaint. "These women down here, they are not the virgins that Barack Hussein Obama promise. But, they are very experienced, and very sharing!", said one of the Uighurs. "This great! I've gone from waterboard to surfboard! Only in America! Osama promised paradise, but Obama delivered!"
The Red Cross notes that conditions in general seem fairly good. Much better then conditions of American taxpayers who are still laboring under Obama's stimulus package with nothing to look forward to but massive debt for their kids.
In other news, it has been reported that there has been an upswing in recruits at terror training camps. The most popular reason for applying to be a jihadist is now, "I want to be captured and punished by Obama".