Written by Alexandria177
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for "Yes Men" spokesperson confesses, "We're losers"
This Andy Bitchbum stuck out his tongue at the other Andy Bitchbum.

New York City, New York - At a press conference held today, spokesperson Andy Bitchbum of the activist group Yes Men, admitted that they are a group of losers.

"Basically we're spoiled children", he said. "From upper middle class and upper class homes, no real cares in the world, children of privilige...you name it. Not having any desire to work for a living, yet wanting to be heard and noticed, we go after our betters routinely."

Bitchbum is refering to the group's practice of pretending to be wealthy and productive business leaders and taking positions on things that are diametrically opposed to what such would believe in. Like their recent hoax of pretending to be the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and holding a press conference to admit global warming justified the closing of all businesses in America.

"For too long we've thought we were being clever and edgy", continued Bitchbum. "When all we were really doing was lying about people who's achievements we could never even hope to aspire to."

The press conference was interupted then, when an unshaved bum who looked like he lived in his mom's basement burst in, claiming that he was the real Andy Bitchbum. He denounced the other as a fraud, said that "shit" like that was illegal, and swore to sue. Then he burst into tears and was led away by security.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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