Written by Alexandria177
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for Congressman gets day pass from Hell
"Don't think this will be a regular thing!", thunders Jehovah

Pearly Gate, Celestial City, Heaven - Yesterday, Sister Mary Jo, resident here these past 40 years since she drowned in an auto "accident", received a surprise visitor.

A former Congressman, who for legal reasons will remain nameless, was given a day pass from Hell by none other than Satan himself.

"We would have granted that day pass sooner", said Prince of Darkness Satan, "but the Congressman had so many friends to catch up with down here that there hasn't been time."

Heavenly insiders are surprised and touched - by Satan's actions, not the Congressman's. "Heck, we know this wasn't that guy's idea.", said St. Peter, "Frankly, I already heard all about how Beelzebub and three other fallen angels had to drag him kicking and screaming up here. But for Satan to do this for Sister Mary Jo - wow, now that's the Lucifer that we used to know and love!"

A source in Hell, speaking on conditions of anonymity had this to say: "This doesn't mean the war is over, not by a long shot. But now and then, even Satan can't stomach some of the things his minions do. And for that guy to have been so fondly remembered by the other humans - well, that's good I guess, but sometimes our successes make us kind of queasy."

Sister Mary Jo received the Congressman in as kind a fashion as heaven's residents have come to expect of her. She listened without so much as a raised eyebrow to explanations of not seeing fire departments or aid stations as he fled the scene, and his need to rest for 24 hours before getting help. She didn't flinch at his "mistakes may have been made" half apology, half defense.

A reliable source close to the Throne of God reports that allowing this at all was more to bring about a healing between Jehovah and Lucifer, as it's believed the visitor is entirely without hope of redemption.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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