Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Dancing With The Stars Feud Between Aaron Carter and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Heats Up
Former DWTS contestant Stacy Keibler (right) and America's Got Talent host Nick Cannon's wife Mariah Carey (left).

HOLLYWOOD - Talk show host Oprah Winfrey recently had Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield on her daytime talk show and the two boxers finally settled their 12-year ear-biting feud.

Now Miss O will probably need to schedule DWTS 'Bad Boy of The Ballroom' Maksim Chmerkovskiy (pronounced cqxjp-YKF-xpz) in a show with blonde singing boy contestant Aaron Carter (pronounced Aa-ron CAR-TER).

Show host Tom Bergeron has stated that there is certainly no love lost between the two male 'hot-heads.' He went on to say that when Maksim and his partner Debi Mazar were voted off the show, Carter was so happy to see Maksim go that he fired off several bottle rockets in a backstage hallway.

One of the bottle rockets hit the grouchy old British judge Len Goodman in his groin region. He instantly yelled out at Carter in his Cockney accent, "Hey there you bumbling blonde bloke, you just 'it me in me peck'r and these days that is the wife's only means of entertainment, joy, and inspiration."

Italian Judge Bruno Tonioli confided that the other day, during rehearsals Maksim had to literally be pulled off of Aaron by himself, Bergeron, the old-as-the-hills crotchety British Judge Len Goodman, and the female judge Carrie Ann Inaba, who reportedly broke two nails, lost a few strands of hair, and got kicked in her hoo-ha region.

And helping to complicate matters even more is the fact that Aaron's partner, Karina Smirnoff (pronounced VOD-ka), just happens to be Maksim's ex-fiancee.

Rumors circulating backstage are that there is more going on between 21-Year-old Carter and 31 year-old Karina that just tangoing, salsaing, and cha cha chaing.

Fellow dance contestant Donny Osmond says that Aaron has fallen head-over-heels for the svelte, fiery Ukrainian dancer...ah Karina not Maksim.

Karina, of course, denies the rumors of any hanky panky, or as she said it hokey pokey, noting that she is old enough to be Aaron's mother. Aaron smiles and says that Karina is gorgeous, but that her math ain't so good.

The 21-year-old Carter who has dated such notable women as Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Tatiana Del Toro, and Condoleezza Rice confided to Carrie Ann Inaba that he thinks that Karina is without a doubt the most beautiful Ukrainian woman that he has ever known.

Aaron smiles, takes a sip from his Shirley Temple, and says that Ina, as he calls her, has two of the sexiest, firmest, and perkiest (blanks) he has ever seen.

He then points out that she also has one stunning first class a*s that would probably win the prettiest and sexiest as* contest of Russia and even California.

Carter raises his eyebrow and says that he does not look upon K, his other nickname for her, as a mother, but more as a 'cougar.'

Karina hears him and says alliterationly, "Grrrrr! Big blonde boy."

Meanwhile, Karina's ex-Russian boyfriend, Maksim is reportedly as angry as a sore-beaked woodpecker in a lumberyard.

He has told fellow professional dancer Derek Hough that he hates blonde guys.

Hough, who is blonde, reportedly said, "What the hell did you say Russian boy?"

Maksim caught himself and said that he meant to say that he hates blonde singing boys who think that they can dance.

Italian Judge Bruno Tonioli said that Aaron confided in him that last week he went down to Venice Beach and had a tattoo put on the small of his back. He said that the tattoo reads "Make mine a Smirnoff."

When asked about it Carter denied it, but Tony Dovolani said that he saw it when he peaked in while Aaron was showering before last week's show.

And as my fine amigo from England Sir Spoofer Skoob says...

More when we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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