Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Afghanistan

Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Afghanistan's Got Talent
"We are all Afghans."

Since the war in Afghanistan has reached a Viet Nam quagmire, as the Bush Mission Unaccomplished, the White House has decided to move to plan B with Afghanistan's Got Talent.

Britain's Got Talent had world attention focussed on Susan Boyle, and it's hoped Afghanistan's Got Talent will switch attention from the war and focus on the daily auditions and talent hunt.

Forgetting her homey appearance, attention switched to Susan Boyle with her crystal clear Julie Andrew's pitch and a star was born. Switches happen all the time. Tom DeLay's Dancing With The Stars proved you don't have to be a Baryshinikov to switch attention. Even Obama's town hall meeting was interrupted by balloon boy floating under the Colorado sky.

"CNN interrupted my town hall meeting for a silver balloon?"

The White House is betting that there's at least one good tap dancer in Afghanistan. Maybe another Susan Boyle, a ventriloquist with a sassy Osama bin Laden dummy, some accordion players, belly dancers and tight-rope walkers.

"A kid was in the silver balloon that looked like a spaceship that interrupted my town hall meeting?"

The world's top producer of heroin, Afghanistan has to have more talent than the guys repeatedly viewed working out on that jungle gym, back and forth, trying to sell fear.

Where are the violinists, pianists, opera singers? A Yo-Yo Ma cellist? Stand up comics, sit down comics, comics? Switch from insurgent hunt to talent hunt. Introduce roadside check points for any kind of entertainer.

"The silver balloon was empty when it landed?"

The plan is to rebuild the infrastructure of Afghanistan during daily auditions and broadcasts. The day after Afghanistan's Got Talent is finished and a winner is selected, Afghans will wake up to a new country free of infidels.

"It was all a hoax and the kid was hiding in the garage attic all the time?"

Then Afghanistan can say hello to McDonald's, blue jeans, credit cards, stability and tourism. And it's off to Pakistan's Got Talent, (and nuclear bombs).

"Afghanistan doesn't need a talent contest. All we need is a silver balloon hovering overhead. I've a job for John McCain."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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