Written by Thermophyle
Print this
Topics: Barack Obama, sniper

Sunday, 18 October 2009

image for Beltway D.C. Sniper Pardoned
Beltway Sniper Pardoned by Obama

In a move that initially surprised the Washington press core Barack Obama stated in a press conference on Monday that he had just signed documents to pardon the notorious Beltway D.C. Sniper John Allen Muhammad. Mr. Muhammad who only hours ago was sitting on death row in a Federal prison in Virginia is now free and out on the street. Mr. Muhammad went on a three week shooting spree in October 2002, killing 10 and wounding 3 others.

Obama said in the news conference that ever since he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize he felt he should pardon Mr. Muhammad. After all Yasser Arafat a fellow Nobel Peace Prize winner was head of the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) and Leader of the Fatah Party. In these organizations he was responsible for and caused the deaths of thousands of innocent lives. He instituted and created suicide bombings, airplane high jacking, hostage taking, and school massacres. He is the unquestioned Father of Modern Terrorism. In addition Arafat stole millions of dollars in foreign aid money meant to help the Palestinians. With this in mind and considering that Arafat was a Nobel Peace Prize winner Obama reasoned that Mr. Muhammad was made of the "right stuff" and had the potential to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner also.

Obama went on to say it would be a social tragedy if Mr. Muhammad was executed and did not live to see his fullest potential. Obama did not want to be apart of any system that would socially oppress its citizens in such a manner. The Obama administration has secured a job for Mr. Muhammad at a DC area Home Depot in the paint department. It is hoped that Mr. Muhammad can find new meaning to his life now that he has been given a second chance. Obama said he is not sure what avenue Mr. Muhammad will take to achieve greatness but he cannot wait to read about it in the newspapers.

It should be mentioned that some right wing reporters just could not seem to let it go in the news conference. They had to be removed by force by Secret Service agents. And investigation has been started to evaluate the racial intentions of these right wing reporters. On a happier note Cuban leader Fidel Castro has officially praised the vision of Obama in releasing Mr. Muhammad and sent Obama a box of fine Cuban Cohibas.


Make Thermophyle's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

7 18 14 12
36 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more