Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 17 October 2009

image for Filipa Hamilton To Do A Commercial For Microhard's Photo Shop This
A photo of the overweight 120 pound Filipa Hamilton at a grand opening of the newest McDonald's in Stockholm, Sweden.

DUBLIN, Ireland - The Swedish-French supermodel Filipa Hamilton was in Dublin to be one of the judges in the Miss Irish Whiskey Beauty Pageant.

While in Dublin, she will also be filming a commercial for Microhard's latest version of Microhard's Photo Shop This.

The 23-year-old Hamilton was asked how she felt about getting fired as a spokesperson for the Raphael Lowelli Clothing and Perfume Company because she was deemed as being too fat.

Filipa (pronounced PHILL-Lippity) said that she was still fuming at the mouth although the boxes of Kleenex that she carries with her have helped tremendously.

Miss Hamilton made world-wide news when it was revealed that her employer Raphael Lowelli had terminated her after she had refused his demand that she immediately bring her weight down from 120 pounds to 102 pounds.

The supermodel insisted that at 5 foot 8, she was not really as 'fat' as she had been told she was by Mr. Raphael Lowelli.

Filipa, who had been the top spokesperson for Raphael Lowelli brand perfume, jeans, blouses, shoes, and tampons insisted that if anything, maybe she was just too short for her weight.

The French advertising agency Le Plus Grand, which is employed by Raphael Lowelli stated that Miss Hamilton had let herself get so overweight that they had to photo shop her photos, airbrushing them in order to get her down from her 120 pounds to the 102 pounds that Mr. Lowelli had insisted upon.

Le Plus Grand said that photo shopping and airbrushing are both really no big deal as they do that with 95 percent of their clients including Amy Winehouse, Lady GaGa, Leona Lewis, Wynonna Judd, and Adam Lambert.

Meanwhile Filipa Hamilton has hired the reputable Chinese law firm of Chung, Chang, Wang, Fu, and Yangowitz to represent her in the $70 billion lawsuit which she plans to file.

Miss Hamilton was asked by the BBC on what grounds would she be filing her $70 billion lawsuit and she replied on grounds that my former employer Mr. Raphael Lowelli is a certifiable A-hole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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