PEORIA, Illinois - Sarah Palin in town for a book signing promotion was asked how her book sales are going.
The ex-governor of Alaska replied that her book was selling like wedding cakes. An aide quickly whispered in her ear and she corrected herself by saying that she meant to say hot cakes.
She was asked where her husband Todd was. She smiled politely and answered, "Ya know, I really don't know, but my guess is that his ass is on one of his snowmobiles and he's probably out salmon fishing with you-know-who.
"Nanicka Zapalicka?" She was asked.
"Bingo!" Palin replied.
The ex-governor has confided to one of her close high school friends that her goal is to win the GOP 2012 presidential nomination.
And she has said that she is going to focus all of her feminine and even masculine energy in obtaining that goal. She said that she will work 20 hours a day. She will put on the dreaded makeup that she hates to wear and she will even wear extremely short skirts, as her personal manager has strongly suggested that she do.
Palin is puzzled by the fact that her closest advisers are constantly tellin her to showcase the gorgeous gams (legs) that her mama gave her.
The ex-Alaskan governor who would much rather show off her right trigger finger says that she has total confidence in her staff.
So she has decided to go with their suggestion that she do a nude layout in PlayMister Magazine. Her closest aide Gail Huckabee (no relation to Mike Huckabee of Arkansas) told her that if she appears nude in a men's magazine it will insure an increase of at least 10,000 votes.
Ms. Huckabee informed Mrs. Palin that the average American male does not give a snow bunnies ass about a candidate's stand on foreign policy, governmental spending, or stimulus packages.
She further added that the only stimulus packages that red-blooded American males care about are the SP's that are situated in their basic lap area.
Sarah Palin smiles when she hears that and the tells Ms. Huckabee that she trusts her political judgement completely and that she knows for a fact that there is no female in Alsaska who knows more about male stimulus packages than Gail Huckabee.
The ex-governor was asked about the statement that Cindy McCain had made in which she said that the nude photos of Sarah Palin in her book are not really pictures of Palin but photos of lookalike Tina Fey.
Palin turned three shades of pink and admitted that the photos were in fact those of comedian Tina Fey. She explained that there was some kind of problem with the print shop and the nude photos of Palin came out kind of grainy.
She went on to say that since they were facing a book deadline she did not have time to have the photos retaken, so the publisher decided to go with the photos of Tina Fey's nude body, which amazingly enough is very close to looking like Sarah Palin's body even down to the three tiny moles on her left ass cheek.
Ex-Governor Palin has said that her new BFF Kevin Skinner has agreed to write a song that she will be able to use for her 2012 presidential campaign. she said that the song is titled, "The Ballad of Snowflake Palin - My New Gal Pal."