SACRAMENTO - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger plans on signing a bill that will ban power-guzzling big screen televisions.
The governor said that he knows that it is not a popular decision, especially with the rich folks, but he stressed that it has to be done otherwise the state of California runs the risk of having to resort to practices that the Amish people have adopted.
Schwarzenegger said that unless the citizens of California want to start riding around in one-horse drawn black buggies everyone will be forced to comply with the new regulation once he signs it into law.
The reason for the bill is to save the financially strapped state of California $912 million a year in energy savings.
The governor wants it clearly understood that people who sternly oppose his no big screen TV mandate and who violate his decision will be dealt with quickly and severely.
He stated that he has received some very strongly worded hate mail from celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Ozzy Osbourne, MacKenzie Phillips, and OctuMom.
Governor Schwarzenegger said that he personally responded to each of the above named celebrities and he let them know in no uncertain terms that he has already instructed the California FBI Department about them and the CFBI will closely be watching what he calls "The Hollywood Five" secret code name "Los Cinco De Hollywood."
Maria Schriver's husband added that if he finds out that either Paris, Lindsay, Ozzy, MacKenzie, or Octy have a big screen television in their home, apartment, or trailer they will be immediately arrested and placed in jail for two weeks.
Schwarzenegger then stated that if they should be arrested a second time for big screen violation the guilty party will have their home, apartment, or trailer confiscated by the state and sold to the highest bidder.
The individual violator will then be exiled to Ensendada, Mexico, and they will not be allowed to return to the United States for a period of from 2 to 3 years.
The governor was asked who he felt would probably be the first one of "The Hollywood Five" to be exiled to Mexico. He took a puff from his foot long imported illegal Cuban cigar and said that he had no doubt that the first person who would probably violate the law a second time would be Paris Hilton.
He was asked if that was because she was a troublemaker? The governor replied, "No it is because she is a blonde."
The manufacturers of big screen TV's are so upset that they are thinking of banding together and hiring the services of Rev. Al Sharpton's personal lawyer Gino Rizzaletti, who has an 87-0 record in the courtroom.