Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 15 October 2009

image for White House Hires Official Dingleberry Trimmer for Bo
Picking up after Bo will also be part of the job.

The Office of Management and Budget has been requested by Presidential Order to release $115,000 per year to hire an official White House Groomer for Bo, the first pet. This groomer will have a small office in the Executive Office Building and will be required to report to the White House daily.

Job duties will include the feeding, walking, bathing, nail and dingleberry trimming, and poop scooping for the Obama family pet. The White House Groomer will also be responsible for the obedience and potty training of the First Dog.

The move comes on the heels of an official visit last week by the Prime Minister of Lithuswanovia. While meeting with the President at an official reception in the Roosevelt Room, Bo entered and begin humping the leg of the honored guest. When he turned, he revealed that he had at least six dingleberrys hanging from bottom.

As the children who insisted on getting the dog, Obama daughters Malia and Sasha cannot be expected to clean, bathe, train or care for this animal (as it is above their station and might make them look like menial servants).

When told of the new position, former Republican Congressman Larry Dwight of Texas said, "hell, I think most Americans would be willing to get thier leg humped on and trim a few pieces of shit for that price. Where can I sign up?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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