Written by Bureau
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Topics: Farting, Whale

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

image for Whale Fart Kills Trainer At Aquatic Zoo

Expert whale trainer, Burt Hamstead, was killed yesterday after trying to lead killer whale, Alfredo Fatface Scarlucci, to a section of the big tank where he could be more easily fed.

A fellow worker, Kate Mackerel, stated that Burt had the big whale on the way when he suddenly began gasping for air.

"I knew right away Burt was hurt but I thought Fatface had caught him with a tail movement because I had seen the tail suddenly move, not realizing that Fartface had flatted."

"I should have been watching the big bubble come up but I was concentrating on where Burt was sending him as there are two entrances to the feeding site."

The San Diego Fire Department stated they had received a very alarming call from Ms. Mackerel that the 30-year-old whale trainer was stuck inside the fumes for at least thirty seconds and that it had caused him to writhe about and elude Ms. Flatface when she had jumped into the water to rescue him, said dispatcher, Scarlet Alfredo.

"I almost died from the fart also", stated Mackerel, but I just caught the tail end of the huge blast."

While the big whale had caused some problems earlier in it's three year stay, there was no warning that Hamstead could launch such a blob of methane.

Although they lost...gasp...the trainer, Mackerel, at least the emergency crew were able to pull the whale out of the water to safety.

This is whew! Robber Scarlucci reporting. from ..the..scene... (Can we open some windows or something, that stuff is still in the air!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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