Written by Dan S.
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Tuesday, 3 August 2004

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Though not yet official, word has it that President Bush has selected the person who will be the Director of all intelligence services. The name of that person will come as a shock to many, others will see it as a brilliant political move.

Vice President Dick Cheney's name will be sent to the Senate for confirmation as the new intelligence czar, thereby eliminating a major problem on November 2nd, election day.

The controversial Cheney is felt by many political observers to be a handicap to the President's chances of re-election. By voluntarily stepping down Cheney himself solves that problem, yet remains one of the most highly placed and powerful government officials. Sources close to Cheney say that he would take office soon after New Years.

Others close to the V.P. indicate that he will outsource all U.S. intelligence activities and responsibilities to Halliburton Industries, where he was CEO before assuming his Vice Presidential duties.

Confirmation won't be easy, but the Republicans controlling the Senate should be able to pull it off. With the public demanding action be taken to conform to the findings of the 9/11 Commission report, Democrats opposing the nomination would find their own jobs in jeopardy. Senators Kerry and his running mate, Senator Edwards would find themselves on the horns of a terrible political dilemma: opposing a Cheney nomination while the public clamors for an appointment to be confirmed would mean political suicide on election day; voting to confirm Cheney would have a devastating impact on the entire Democratic Party.

Bush also has the alternative of simply appointing Cheney to the post, thereby avoiding confirmation hearings if there is a fear on the part of the administration the public would reject Cheney as a cabinet level officer.

President Bush is believed to be ready to send up Cheney's name by September 1st, and will expect confirmation by the middle of October. He has not yet indicated who he will name as his running mate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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