Vero Beach, FL-- Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh announced his surprise engagement to Chelsea Clinton on his radio program today. It will be the ninth marriage for Mr. Limbaugh, 58, and the first for Ms. Clinton, 29.
The pair met briefly at an election rally last November and began exchanging e-mails. Friendship blossomed into love over the Summer, and Mr. Limbaugh popped the question to Chelsea over the weekend. Chelsea is the daughter of former president Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary.
The two lovebirds don't expect their political differences to come in between them one bit. In a further sign of unity, Rush will have Bill Clinton as his Best Man, and Chelsea will have conservative author Ann Coulter as her Maid of Honour.
Bill Clinton was thrilled with the engagement. "I hope we can talk some sense into Rush, now that he's part of the family." he said. "It's gonna take some time to get used to the idea. I'm gonna demand that Rush call me Daddy once they're married. I sure hope they don't have kids!" he said with a smile.
Hillary Clinton was more pessimistic about the situation. "F*cking a**h*le, piece of sh*t! I hate that f*cking bastard!" she shrieked. Hillary then picked up a lamp and smashed it against a Secret Service agent's head to make her point. "Where's that gun I used on Vince Foster!!" she raged. "I married a fat a**hole many years ago, and I'm not going to see my daughter make the same f*cking mistake!!" she said bitterly.
The marriage is scheduled for Halloween. Only clowns will be invited to attend.