Sacramento, CA - In a new development that has environmentalists, sociologists and linguists puzzled the world over, California has suddenly 'gone Sweden' as water turns to aquavit, people have become more pacifist and Governor Schwarzenegger's accent appears to have gained extra vowels.
The incidents may be related to Obama's Nobel Peace Prize Award, according to UCLA folklorist Ezra Wellman. "At other times in history," Wellman was quoted as saying, "a entire state will become 'sympathetic' to a person or event, and in this case, it appears to be Obama's Peace Prize. It's known as a 'reaction formation'."
When asked to provide previous examples of this occurrence, Wellman admitted he couldn't. "I'm just guessing here," he shrugged.
The entertainment, dairy, hospitality and beauty industries are sustaining major hits because of the phenomena.
Nights have become shorter, impacting the filmmaking industry. California cows are becoming less contented as they are forced to stand in fields and chew their cuds for much longer each day, diminishing their milk production. "This will have a negative effect on California cheese futures," said Dairy Commissioner Elsie laVache. "Wisconsin is going to kick our ass."
When archipelagos began forming off the Central Coast, scientists first speculated that it might be global warming. They abandoned the theory when reports of other occurrences began to trickle in.
City water in Turlock, Barstow, and Fresno has turned into aquavit, affecting agriculture. All the potatoes in farmers' markets have become very, very little and perfectly round, and coastal salmon are turning into gravlax mid-swim.
Orders of meatballs in Italian restaurants are coming out of the kitchen shrunken and covered with brown gravy, affecting the hospitality industry.
Blondes are becoming blonder without the use of harsh chemicals, impacting sales of beauty products. The cars clogging the LA Metropolitan area freeways have all changed into Volvos, enraging Jay Leno.
All Michael Jackson songs are now ABBA songs. Further damage is being sustained by the entertainment industry, as rehearsals for TV shows and movies have to be halted because the lines coming from actors' mouths are all from "Mama Mia."
The California division of the NRA has reported that its members have become pacifists, though the phenomena can't be immediately substantiated. "Trust me, it's happening," said Radio Talk Show Host Rush Limbaugh. "If anyone could identify a commie pinko trend like that, it would be me."
The most alarming reports confirm that the Governor has begun to speak with a Swedish accent. During a speech deriding critics of his economic bailout plan, he called his detractors, "ehcunumeec gurleee-a men" when he normally would have called them "eggonomig gurlee men."
An in-depth report on the Governor's Swedish accent can be found here.
Meanwhile, the Governor's staff are making plans to invite President Obama and other socialist leaders, including the Nobel Prize Committee, to Sacramento for an international summit to explore California's transition to a Socialist government.