Written by P Turton
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Thursday, 4 April 2002

image for Gun nuts lobby to outlaw shooting deaths
One lonely cartridge

American right wing gun nuts the NRA today declared plans to lobby the government in a bid to outlaw death by shooting. The Bill, if successful, would see those shot to death by guns receive a substantial fine, prison sentence or even the death penalty.

Those not severely killed would be forced to attend compuslory re-education classes, confronting the wrongs of being in the way of high velocity bullets.Accused of being unsympathetic in the wake of recent high school massacres, the NRA hopes that this new bill will soften public opinion towards them.

NRA president and religious icon, Charlton Heston, declared "It's time people stopped getting shot to death in this great land. This law will act as a powerful deterrant to those thinking of being shot to death by an innocent gun."

By taking a firm stance towards the people who cause these outrages, the NRA hopes to avoid future tarnishings of the gun's image.

"If people would realise that being shot by a gun is dangerous, then we'd have no problems" said NRA spokes commando Randy 'Rambo' McWade. "It's time we started punishing those who stand in the way of enthususiasts guns, It's these bullet riddled corpses that are causing the problem."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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