US President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Barack Obama has admitted that he hadn't actually been 'humbled' at all by his award and that, in fact, the accolade had had quite the opposite effect.
Obama had been quoted in the press as having been "humbled and deeply surprised" by the win, but I can exclusively reveal that this was a lie.
In an interview with Mr Obama, I was told: "I mean really, who could be 'humbled' by such an honor? Meeting a ten-year-old who has donated bone marrow to her little brother, that's humbling. Or Hurricane Katrina victims and their struggle for survival. But winning the Nobel f***ing Peace Prize - that's awesome. Hell, I'm awesome!"
Asked why he had made such a statement, Obama shrugged. "I don't know, it's what everyone says in these situations, isn't it?"
The President denied he was the latest in a long line of prize winners who don't know that the phrase 'to be humbled' means more than just 'touched' but that it is actually connected to the word 'humility'.
"And while I'm being honest," continued the President, clearly enjoying the wine. "When I said I'd give the prize to charitable causes, that was a lie too. The money's going on giving my daughters all those ponies they've always wanted!"