BROOKLYN - Madonna, the self-proclaimed icon of icons, was in Brooklyn to inaugurate the brand new Madonna Material Girl Day Care Center.
Madonna, also known as Mr. Madonna, for her hard line approach to business matters stated that there is no one more qualified and deserving of having a day care center named after them than her.
She smiles and discloses that she has just finished the paperwork needed to adopt her 17th child. This child, she proudly boasts is a little two-year-old girl from Iceland who police found crawling around on an iceberg.
The highly conceited 51-year-singer of such hits as "Like A Virgin," "Papa Don't Preach," "Don't Cry For Me Argentina." and "The Argentinian Preacher's Non-Virgin Adopted Daughter" said that she decided to write a song to help out her ex-BFF David Letterman.
Madonna said that she wrote the song while she was cutting up pepperoni's for a birthday pizza that she had made for her hairdresser Mr. Fufi Fondue.
The song is entitled, "David, Oh David, What The Hell Were You Thinking Bitch?"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I went into the Internet and I am inserting the song's chorus.']
Letterman looks like Alfred E. Neuman.
Round face, tasseled hair, and a stupid grin.
But we all know now what he's been doin'.
And let's just hope Davey has a thick skin.
The iconic singer, who knows more curse words than Howard Stern, said that all proceeds from the sale of the song will be donated to The David Letterman Legal Defense Fund.
Madonna said that even though in the past her and Letterman have verbally sparred she still has a special place somewhere in her heart for the goofy-looking, Mad Magazine character look-a-like.
She also added that her and David are soul mates due to the fact that they both have identical tooth gaps. She grins and says that the two also have one more interesting thing in common but that it is of an extremely personal nature.
SIDENOTE: I spoke with my good friend and the undisputed Know-It-All King, Larry King and he said that both Madonna and Letterman have a mole on their left breast that when looked at very closely resembles the state of Rhode Island.