United States President Barack Obama, after seven months in office and trying to get any of his programs going here and abroad, has received word that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize, for holding up the peace symbol during his earlier visits to Europe during the G-8 Conference.
At the same time, his book, "Dreams From My Father" received a Pulitizer Prize and there may be more before the day is over as everyone is looking through the pages of his past.
"We were totally surprised by this", stated the President. "I almost pissed the bed when they told me early this morning."
"I DID piss the bed when I was told early this morning", stated Chairman Of The House Nancy Pelosi.
"I got mine out and shit on it and then threw it in the river", stated a previous winner who spent 50 years feeding the poor in Africa and Asia.
Reactions were diverse all over the world as the news leaked out by being shouted by CNN at the top of their lungs until one announcer's voice would fade and another picked it up!
"I feel so humbled", stated the President. "I feel like...well, actually calling up Hillary and telling her what to do with that Medal Of Honor she received over that ten-hour, pinned-down fire fight while she was in Bosnia."