Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 8 October 2009

image for Seal Tells His Wife Heidi Klum To Take His Last Name or He'll Divorce Her
A photo taken of Heidi Klum two days before she got pregnant with her fourth child.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Model, actress, and Project Runway host Heidi Klum has stated that she has petitioned to have her last name changed.

The German born beauty will be dropping her last name Klum and replacing it with her husband Seal's last name Samuel.

Seal's legal name is Seal Henry Olusegun Gazelle Olumide Rhino Adeola Anaconda Samuel. The surnames are all Nigerian, except for Samuel which is Chinese.

Heidi said that she decided to change her last name to make Seal happy. She added that she heard some confirmed rumors that if she did not change her name to his he was going to dump her gorgeously sexy German butt.

And now, since Heidi is pregnant with her fourth child Seal wants to give their other three kids some sense of stability.

He does not want their children to think that their parents just merely live together like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell or Matthew McConaughey and whatever his girlfriend and the mother of his child is.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: McConaughey's live-in girlfriend and mother of his child and of his child-to-be is Brazilian-born Camila Consuelo Clarissa Monteverde Monteviejo Alves; or Camila Alves for short or CamAl for even shorter.]

A reporter for USA Tonight recently asked Heidi point blank if the real reason why she had not taken her husband Seal's last name was because he was black.

Heidi exploded and called the reporter every name in the book from A-hole and honky to B-hole and cracker. She even threatened to take her lipstick and write bigot on the reporter's forehead.

The reporter, who just happens to be a 6 foot 1 inch lesbian named Cronisha Fellalook, strongly advised her against doing that unless she wanted to have her lipstick turned into a suppository.

Heidi ended the interview and went off to find a ham and cheese sandwich to help calm her down.

When she got home she told Seal what the reporter had said to her about her not taking his name because he was black.

Seal looked at her and asked, "Well?"

Heidi ran off into the kitchen to make herself a salami and cheese sandwich to calm down her nerves.

In other news. Donald Trump has reportedly offered to lend Kate Gosselin $10,000 at a 3.1% interest rate to help tide her over until her and estranged husband "Playboy" Jon can get their financial situation figured out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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