Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 7 October 2009

image for Rush Limbaugh Wants To Buy The St. Louis Rams
A photo of $1.6 million that Limbaugh keeps on his office desk at home to remind him of just how good he is.

ST. LOUIS - Radio political commentator Rush Limbaugh has expressed an interest in purchasing the NFL St. Louis Rams.

Limbaugh stated that he has always dreamed of owning a professional sports team, but not the Detroit Lions who last year went 0-16, or the Washington Nationals who so far this year are 59-103.

Rush expressed an interest in wanting to buy the Dallas Cowboys, but owner Jerry Jones said that they are not for sale, but if they were he would not sell them to a Republican, and especially to an overweight Republican.

When Limbaugh heard about Jerry's comment, he replied that Jerry Jones spent over $1 billion on his brand new football stadium but it's too bad that he didn't spend $185 on a decent-looking toupee.

There are some, as yet unconfirmed, reports that Limbaugh has offered to pay $928 million for the Rams. Sports television studio analyst Terry Bradshaw says that the football blue book lists the value of the Rams as $929 million.

Limbaugh was asked if he buys the St. Louis Rams will he be keeping their name or changing it. He paused, took a big puff from his foot long cigar and said that he may change the name to Dittoheads, in honor of this radio fans.

He also said that he may name them the Rushers or maybe even the Republicans or the Elephants since all of the real good names are already taken.

Limbaugh has reportedly already applied for and received approval for a $7.2 million Federal stimulus package.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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