During a press conference Monday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton admitted that the United States has concrete proof of where Osama might be hiding if the stupid Iraqis, Turds...Kurds and Taliban quit spotting our top secret detailed satellite shots and either lower their pants and moon the satellite or wave a weinie at it!
"How they know when it passes overhead, I don't know, but even the Palestinian kids are doing it now," stated Hillary.
The surprise announcement came after US satellites detected several Palestinian teenagers lowering their pants and placing their heads to the ground as if in prayer.
"I tell you the truth", stated Mrs. Clinton, "These guys have hacked our military security system. That's the only way it could be possible."
"Osama Bin Laden himself has been thumbing his nose at the satellite by running out of a cave, actually there are five of them, and mooning the spy satellite exactly when it passes over.
"This behavior is totally unacceptable."
According to sources, the secret spy technology has been in place over Iraq and several neighboring countries two years after 9/11 and is so sophisticated it can identify the hairs on a mole on a individual's face under a veil in Jordan.
"She had seven, we did it for practice."
"These camera hogs have taken advantage of the fact that we can see them and they continue with not only waving their weiners, but these other sickening and vulgar displays" Clinton stated.
She then showed how the women, dressed in veils also knew exactly when the satellite went over.
"Look! They show their breasts just as....wait a minute, go back there to that guy behind the tent.!"
"I thought I recognized that white hair. Just wait till I leave here and find him. He was supposed to be on a fact-finding tour in with those South Carolina officials in South Carolina Argentina!"