Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 October 2009

image for African Cannibal Tribal Chief Wants To Buy Roman Polanski
Two members of Chief Boomboosha's tribe on their way to the grocery store to buy pepper, cilantro, and meat tenderizer.

CHITUNGWIZA, Zimbabwe - One of the most popular cannibal tribal chiefs in Africa, Chief Boomboosha has emailed the Swiss authorities offering to buy Roman Polanski for $20.

The Zimbabwean cannibal chief said that he wants to serve RoPo to his tribe in honor of French Fry Week.

Chief Boomboosha expressed to the Swiss authorities that it would be a waste to send Polanski to the United States since he will only be incarcerated for life at a cost to the California taxpayers of $30,000 per year.

The chief stated that from what he has read in the newspapers, California is in a horribly bad financial situation. He said he read where they are thinking of selling Disneyland to Japan.

He also said that he read in USA Today where the North Koreans are considering purchasing the Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise and renaming it Korean Fried Chicken.

Big Chief Boomboosha, as his lovely wife of 27 years Harriet calls him, said that he actually became a vegetarian back in 2001. But he said that he soon got bored with the taste of jungle vines and went back to being a 'meat eater.'

The chief said that his wife, bless her heart, tried everything to make jungle vine meals attractive from preparing pickled jungle vine salad to stir-fried jungle vine, and marinated jungle vine Jambalaya to jungle vine wedding cake.

Boomboosha noted that no matter how the jungle vines were prepared they still tasted like week-old chicken.

Chief Boomboosha has said that if the Swiss government does not sell him Roman Polanski that he may consider emailing The San Antonio Spurs and trying to buy Frenchman Tony Parker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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