MANHATTAN - Three of the Late Show with David Letterman staff members have filed a $100 million class-action lawsuit against the gap-toothed host who seems to be getting less and less funny with each passing show.
Attorney Mildred Rothstein has been hired to represent Late Show staff members Danielle Zapaluski, 51, Hattie Fufuwitz, 42, and Ling Ling Bling, 19 in their class-action lawsuit against David Letterman and his company The Gapped Tooth Talent Agency.
Rothstein says that she is seeking $100 million for her three clients for statutory embarrassment brought on from the talk show host that Jay Leno has described as looking like a cross between Mad's Alfred E. Neuman and Cloris Leachman.
Ms. Rothstein said that her three clients are responsible for writing roughly 60 percent of Letterman's comedic material. She added that Zapaluski wrote his one liner, where does Kanye West buy his microphones? From the Swift Store.
Fufuwitz wrote the Letterman one liner, what's the difference between Paris Hilton and a Lincoln Log? You can eat the Lincoln Log if you had to.
And Miss Bling, who has only worked for Mr. Letterman for five months wrote, what is the difference between a Chinese Checker and Ann Coulter? A Chinese Checker is a lot shorter and it doesn't go around saying stupid things.
Ms. Rothstein has represented several well known celebrities in various lawsuits. She represented the Rev. Al Sharpton in his lawsuit against the owners of Mount Rushmore. That case was settled out of court for $2.2 million.
Another one of her high-profile cases was The Condoleezza Rice versus the makers of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice. That case actually went to trail and Ms. Rothstein won a judgement of $3.1 million for Ms. Rice along with a year's supply of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice.
And in what is considered her most successful case ever. She won a settlement for the nation of South Korea in their lawsuit against Kim Jong Il, leader of North Korea.
The judge in that case ruled that Mr. Jung Il had to pay the country of South Korea $50 million for saying that the people of South Korea where not as smart, good-looking, and sexy as the people of North Korea.
As of October 5, 2009, North Korea had made several payments to South Korea totaling $27,916.45.
Kim Jong Il is apparently seriously considering putting his three missiles on eBay and using that money to go towards the balance of the South Korean settlement.
I had the pleasure of talking with attorney Mildred Rothstein over the phone. She told me that she does not want the word to get out, but that she and her three clients would be willing to settle out of court for $90 million.