Washington DC-- When Judge Sotomayor dons the robe of the Supreme Court today, she will be making history. The new judge is the first non-human ever to sit on the US Supreme Court. She will be treated very specially and shown every consideration one would show to a treasured pet.
Judge Sotomayor will be walked at least twice a day. She is fairly well housebroken, but does have an occasional accident. Professional dog-walkers will happily walk the mutt around the Mall when the Supreme Court is in session. She can use a newspaper in the lavatory on inclement days.
Only the most delicious and nutritious dog biscuits will be given to the new judge. Her handlers have lots of yummy snacks for her, if she is a good girl!
Judge Sotomayor must be kept away from all white men at all times. She will bark and she will bite. Just the sight of a white man will spook her for hours. Perhaps a white man abused her when she was a pup, and she never got over it.
The newest Justice is quite bright and has no trouble communicating. It's one bark for 'Yes' and two barks for 'No'. She is certainly a credit to her breed!