Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 October 2009

image for Grandma Lee Joins The Cast Of Saturday Night Live
Grandma Lee's old 1959 typewriter which she still uses to type out her jokes and one-liners.

NEW YORK CITY - A spokesperson for Saturday Night Live has stated that Grandma Lee who finished third in this year's America's Got Talent reality show has agreed to join the cast of regulars on the popular NBC show.

The Gramster, as her granddaughters call her, said that she received a call from the SNL's Executive Director Brayden Blittcastle asking her to join the SNL team.

Blittcastle admitted that the past few years has seen the show fall in viewership numbers. The award-winning executive director said that the one area where his show is hurting as far as viewer numbers is in the 65 to 95 age group category.

He noted that in that particular category, SNL is ranked #4 for their particular time-slot. Blittcastle embarrassingly stated that last week in the 65 to 95 age category throughout America there were only seven people watching SNL.

He went on to add that the reputable Magisterial Federated Television Survey Agency of New Jersey said that of the seven, five had fallen asleep before the first commercial.

Blittcastle said that Saturday Night Live hired the Baltimore Television Viewer Practices Firm of Dinnaforge, Zornquist, & Cappovesti to find out what they can do to get the viewership numbers back up.

They investigated and soon found that if SNL expects to get their VN's (viewer numbers) back up they need to hire a cast member who is in the 65 to 95 age range.

They pointed out that old people just do not like to watch a bunch of young whippersnappers making jokes about senior citizens and referring to them as old-as-the-hills, gray-haired relics, and albino prunes.

DZ&C suggested to SNL that they hire an OP (old person) to join their CC (comedic cast). And that is where Blittcastle said that they decided on good old GL (Grandma Lee).

They said that research studies showed that she would fit the bill perfectly. At 75, she fell in the 65 to 95 category. She is genuinely funny, which sad to say 99.3 percent of people in that age category aren't.

Grandma Lee also has her own health care plan, her own clothes, and her own teeth, which may not seem like such a big deal, but in this day and age of runaway dental bills, it is very important in deed.

They said that Grandma Lee will also be able to cook dinner for the entire cast after each rehearsal. Brayden Blittcastle smiled and said that it will definitely be a "Win-Win" proposition.

In other news. The nation's "First Mama" Michelle Obama, again made it very clear to all of the fashion designers and critics, gay or otherwise, that she does not give one rat's ass (her words) about their fashion comments. She stressed that she will continue wearing sleeveless dresses and blouses until the friggin' cows come home so they all better just back off with their critical critiques before she sicks the IRS on their but*s.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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