WASHINGTON DC - President Obama today held a short informal press conference with a few lessor known reporters. He chose this venue, in his office, to make a lucid revelation of the solution to all economic problems. Follows his statement.
The stimulus plan, going forward from this day, is 'not working'.
People in America, you have been working too hard. This has meant that you have been working your fellow Americans out of the few jobs that are left in this country.
By making too much money, you have produced inflation. By not allowing the unemployed to share in the work, because you work too hard and greedily do it all yourself, you have produced deflation.
That is why we are teetering on the edge of both inflation and depression at the same time.
People? I'm only going to let you work one day per week. The rest of the time I want you out shopping.
People? Borrow and spend.
Oh, you bankers? Stop hogging all the money.