Written by victor nicholas
Print this
Topics: Terrorism

Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for New Terrorist Interrogation Techniques Ineffective
Terrorists now View Joey Heatherington Videos

Washington - The Obama administration is taking heat over new interrogation techniques for terrorists that some say are lax and even pleasant.

No longer able to use water boarding interrogators are now limited to playing terrorists Joey Heatherington videos and giving them massage therapy, tennis lessons and upscale catering. What used to take several hours of conventional torture now takes two to three months of pampering along with coaxing and sometimes even begging with no guarantee of results.

Guards say now that prisoners know the new program is in place they have become demanding and disrespectful as well.

Guard Roscoe Billups, who has twenty years experience, says he has seen nothing like it.

"Prisoners used to be happy to have a cot and a pot to piss in. Now they want three hundred count Egyptian cotton sheets and monogrammed boiler suits."

"Next thing you know we'll be wiping their bum."

Make victor nicholas's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

6 17 10 3
75 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more