This morning Republicans awoke to the terrible news of Americas loss for it's 2016 bid for the Olympics in Chicago. Not too surprisingly Republicans rejoiced at the failure of President Obama to bring the Olympics to the United States.
Republican commentators didn't hold back, painting the episode as a humiliating rejection of Obama's claims to have made a sea-change in America's reputation overseas.
"Hahahahaha. I thought the world would love us more now that Bush was gone. I thought if we whored ourselves out to our enemies, great things would happen. Apparently not," wrote Eric Erickson at RedState.
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh called it the "worst day of [Obama's] presidency" and said the president had "wasted his country's time, and his prestige."
"Obama demeaned the office of the presidency, going on this sales pitch," Limbaugh said.
This morning President held a press conference concerning the loss for the 2016 bid. When asked about what his thoughts were concerning the Republicans apparent "giddishness" about his failure he responded:
"The undermining of myself and, in essence, the American people by the Republican party for their own political gain is a travesty. It is because of the Republican party we can thank for the loss of billions of dollars in revenue and the failure to gererate hundreds of thousands of jobs for patriotic, hard-working Americans.
I honestly hope that Republicans think it is all worth it. All I wanted was to help the American people and Republicans have undermined me every single step of the way. They have sacrificed the well-fare of the American people in return for political gain. These childish Republican tactics are unamerican and these representatives and senators are not fit to represent the people.
As for the extreme right-wing terrorists dominating the airways. People like that pill-popping addict Rush Limbaugh have no right to inform the American people and clogg the airways. They are fear-mongors and facists, and as far as I'm concerned aren't worthy of licking the bottom of my shoe.
Thank you all for coming out, you've been wonderful. God bless you, and god bless the United States of America."
The president then proceeded to give a hand-gesture, essentially flipping-off Republicans and right-wing extremists. Republican leaders were in shock and outraged. Only minutes after rallies broke out all across America calling for an end to hypocrisy in Washington under threat of ousting representatives and senators.
Corporate executives, who recieved millions of dollars in bonuses, homes were raided and a bloodless revolution came underway by patriotic Americans for equal pay and an end to hypocrisy and corruption. All was well.