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Topics: Food

Saturday, 3 October 2009

image for Congress Authorizes First Contingent of Food Police
"We got your rump!"

Washington DC: President Obama signed the Health Care Reform bill today. Buried on page 4203 is the establishment of a cadre of federal Food Busybody Inspectors (FBI) or the "food police."

The first unit of FBI agents has been training at an underground location in the basement of (SECRET), where Vice President Biden drinks real beer. These FBI agents may only advise American citizens about the dangers of eating trans-fats, sugar, salt, saturated fat and cholesterol.

A secondary FBI agent undercover mission is to monitor corporate employee's free time habits and "rat out" obese people and heavy smokers to their employers for later rehabilitation.

One, possibly two FBI agents will be resident at all participating USA fast food restaurants such as McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Wendy's, Taco Bell/Pizza Hut and Checkers etc. Anticipation is that between 50,000 to 100,000 new jobs will be created. The FBI agent's motto is "We will be watching your fat rump!"

In order to minimize taxpayer expense, each fast food restaurant is mandated to provide free lunches to the FBI agents.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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