Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Mexico

Sunday, 11 October 2009

image for Mexico Bans The Traditional Running of The Bulls
A tired bull after running 2.3 miles in the traditonal 'Running of the Bulls.'

AGUASCALIENTES, Mexico - Mexican President Nacho Winslow (pronounced WEENS-Lo) has just issued a presidential directive strictly prohibiting the aged old, traditional, and downright stupid practice known as 'the running of the bulls.'

President Winslow said that downtown merchants have been complaining for years that the running of the bulls practice does nothing but cause needless gorings, torn serapes, damaged pinatas, and a horrendously nasty bullsh*t mess all over the streets and sidewalks.

Pequin Del Cuerno the world's most renown expert on things of a bullish nature, such as stocks, bullfights, gorings, and runnings of the bulls wrote in his best-selling book Ole! Ole! Ole! - The Ever So Real Art of Latino Redundancy that Mexico actually stole the running of the bulls tradition from Spain back in November of 1955.

The famed, award-winning author, who once dated Salma Hayek said that the idea was first brought over by an exchange student from Madrid.

As talk of this Spanish tradition spread through conversations in barbershops, maraca outlets, and cantinas throughout Mexico, the idea was soon born.

Del Cuerno noted that Mexico did have somewhat of a semblance of the running of the bulls, which was known as the running of the burros. This practice was first started by Don Erasmo Burro, after whom the burro is named.

But that tradition did not catch on due to the fact that the burros are relatively docile compared to a fighting bull.

And since there was really no danger, there was no excitement, and since there was no excitement there soon was no running of the burros.

Noted burro expert Mateo Lagogrande, 57, observed that it was great news for the burros since the suckers hated to walk fast much less run.



WRITER'S CREDIT: I would like to personally thank President Winslow for his generous hospitality. I want to express my appreciation to Circa "Sally" Matagrillo for letting me stay at her fabulously exquisite El Matador Con Huevos Grandes Hotel. And lastly I want to say muchas gracias (many thanks) to the deliciously delicious Faldita Sinsemilla for providing me with one of the best complimentary lap dances that I have had in a long time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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